Beyond its strong condemnation of The Economist’s meddlesomeness in what are purely domestic affairs, I believe the National Assembly should, as a matter of national importance, come up with a drastic legislation against the circulation, purchasing, possession or reading of the arrant foreign Satanic Verses being disseminated by publications like the Financial Times and others in our country. If not, these foreign journals will end up corrupting the minds of Nigeria’s laid back, talk-no-evil, see-no-evil, law-abiding citizens — those who have come to accept pervasive corruption and blatant impunity as directive principles of state policy. Come to think of it, these publications are fond of raking up well-interred dirt, crying more than the bereaved. What else must we do to knock it into the empty brains of these neo-colonialists that, as a sovereign nation, we do not need them to tell us how to spend, distribute, preserve or waste our God-given wealth? Shouldn’t they be satisfied that, in our magnanimity, we have embraced democracy and, contrary to their doomsday predictions, all the structures of governance are working at full throttle?
I have often wondered why these foreign journals, with hack writers who know little or nothing about our customary reverence for political office holders, take delight in writing what they are not paid to write. The fact that they get into the living rooms of our leaders at the snap of the fingers should not translate into an abuse of that privilege. Anyway, I don’t blame them. I blame our leaders who would gladly offer an arm and a leg to grace the pages of these foreign magazines or allow themselves to be asked silly questions by correspondents working with foreign cable television stations in the name of international publicity. If only they would keep faith with the local media and its people-friendly mode of grilling the Oga at the top, an unknown quantity like The Economist would not come up with that scandalous verdict that our ‘most distinguished’ Senators and highly revered ‘honourables’ receive the highest salaries and allowances in the world for doing nothing! In fact, I am utterly disturbed that, some three weeks after the publication of this despicable news, the leadership of the National Assembly has not instructed a team of senior lawyers to file a multi-million dollar suit at the International Court of Justice against the economically-dumb The Economist! How could they sit by and watch these people go away with this criminal breach of trust and callous violation of the oath of secrecy in revealing a pay packet that has been shrouded in secrecy for years?
Okay, I understand that a grumpy spokesperson of the Senate, EnyinayaAbaribe, has condemned the publication, describing it as misleading and incorrect. But is that all he could say to these imperialists who are bent on derailing this smooth-running democratic train? Mr.Abaribe’s counterpart in the House of Representatives, Zakari Mohammed, has even gone further to make clarifications between what is actually earned as salaries and the humongous amount being spent as ‘running costs.’ That, I also say, is begging the question. Whether the figures being bandied are exaggerated or not; whether they are sourced from the data obtained from the International Monetary Fund or any of those ubiquitous transparency agencies or not, it is important to note that these two lawmakers did the nation a great favour by refusing to disclose the real amount that our lawmakers draw from the national till – a reward for obliging us with their largely self-serving services in a nation that a Professor of Economics dubbed the world’s costliest democracy. They have candidly advised those who have no jobs to do other than prying into what our ‘distinguished’ lawmakers earn, to take a stroll to the office of the Revenue Mobilisation Allocation and Fiscal Commission (RMAFC) where, I assume, a dutiful desk officer would be waiting to hand over copies of the ‘true’ pay package to them with a warm smile etched on her face!
Had it happened in years gone by, the publishers of The Economist could have been charged with treasonable felony and deliberate attempt to incite the people against their patriotic leaders. In fact, they could suffer the pleasure of having their heads shaven with broken bottles!What, for crying out loud, is their business if our legislators earn a basic salary of $189,500 per annum (N30.6m)? Why cry wolf if our “highest paid lawmakers in the world” take home approximately 116 times the country’s GDP per person of $1,600? Shouldn’t Nigeria be commended for its generosity to those who are sacrificing their time in the hallowed chambers, just to earn a measly $189,500 annually, which is estimated to be 52 per cent higher than what Kenyan legislators, who are the second highest paid lawmakers, earn? Oh, were they expecting ordinary Kenya to beat us in this race of official extravagance? Never!
If we must spill it out, it is, to say the least, insulting for anyone to demean the office of the Nigerian lawmaker. And if we don’t stop this trend, the time will come when these guys will take up the Presidency, lampooning it for earning in a quarter what President Barack Obama takes home in a year and wasting billions on owanbe parties! Have they suddenly forgotten that the circumstances are different and, therefore, there should be no basis for comparison? If they had taken the pains to understudy why political office holders get paid what they termed outrageous salaries, I believe they would have called for an increment in the packages.
It is my considered opinion that our lawmakers are grossly underpaid for obvious reasons. First, Nigeria is not Kenya which depends on mere tourism and coffee production to run its economy. We are a major oil producing country that not only flares multi-billion dollar gas but also loses millions of dollars to daily theft of crude oil. Second, politics is an investment here and those who go into it and succeed have a right to expect huge returns on capital. Third, the political class is expected to conform to a tradition of being limitlessly liquid in cash, sassy in outlook and very bohemian in nature.
Even the economic juggernauts at The Economist would agree with me that these expectations require loads of money. That’s why we pamper our lawmakers or any other political office holder for that matter. Unlike Obama whose children attend schools in the United States, our lawmakers’ children need to be properly educated in Ivy Leagues schools abroad. Does that come cheap? Unlike the Queen of England and Prime Minister David Cameron who fly commercial British Airways, our lawmakers either fly presidential jets, chartered flight or buy First Class tickets on routine basis. It doesn’t come cheap either! Unlike Mandela who receives medical treatment in a South African hospital, our lawmakers cannot afford to die in a Nigerian hospital. That demeans their status. If they must die, it has to be in the best hospitals in Germany, United Kingdom or the US. Do the yamheads at The Economist know how important this tradition is? Unlike other leaders who retire to farm houses, our lawmakers must own mansions in, at least, three foreign countries, their states and the Federal Capital Territory! If we don’t close our eyes to the ‘running costs’, oversight functions that come with standard ‘gifts’ and funds budgeted for ‘capacity building courses’ in far flung countries, and a freshly minted life pensions for principal officers that may soon be smuggled into our Constitution, how would they attain the enviable position of being the world’s richest lawmakers? Do these interlopers in our private affairs know how legislatives aides, paramours and numerous jobless citizens who take solace in being hangars-on rely on the crumbs from our legislators’ tables for survival?
Don’t get it twisted. It is not as if we are eternally ungrateful or that we are blind to the yeoman efforts being made by these foreign agencies to open our eyes to the crying rot within. All we are saying is that if official methods cannot take a prize for meeting the needs of the common man, we shouldn’t be prosecuted for coming tops in the area of authorised profligacy. We already have a place in the Guinness Book of World Records! In any case, Naija, as they say in my area, no dey carry last! And so when next The Economist tries meddling in our business, we should ask them: if we don’t take care of our over-pampered fat cats in politics, who will?
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